February 8th 2014 Lorenzo Guy Patrick Jr. aka Kwabena Shango left his suffering and spread his light across the universe.
My big brother died.
After half a decade he succumbed to ALS.
At his funeral I wanted to speak but I could not. Even now I know I have not resolved the loss. I had time and preparation but no realization of what this would feel like. I told myself I would post a blog to his memory and say the things i wanted needed desired to say but was unable. And show how he was an inspiration in my life and in my art.
His spirit struck me this week as I was going through life shit and he said,
"Stop Bitchin' and just do it!"
I heard his voice clearly. The advice related to something else but also it was always his general response to my self-doubt and procrastination.
Thank you Lo. This is what you meant to me....
Sooooooo.......
I wrote this over a year ago and never published it. Been through a gang of of ish since then but I'm trying to get back to me so I'll begin my revisiting ti this blog with this old entry. Also I must add I lost my father this year as well as getting remarried. So alot. I want to get lost in creating and writing and my family. Wish me luck and look for content soon. Because life in my forties is something else...
Reading List: Antiquity- LA Crime Novel by Darrin Hackett. A first novel from an old and very creative friend.
Music List: nothing right now... music has just been background noise lately....
Movie/Television List: Thomas and Friends, Word girl, Daniel Tigers Neighborhood... my toddler son controls a lot of my TV watching these days.
