Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Innocents' Massacre cont'd.
"Where ya going Mister Guy?"
Even Miriam shuddered at the earnestness of the squeaky voice that appeared from nowhere. Guy reined her in softly searching about for the source of the question. Theresa stood next to a small tree. Guy climbed down from the saddle. It was the outskirts of the town of Necessity. He had left the stable only an hour before and had expected an uninterrupted journey. The small black haired child stood patiently. Still, she waited for his response.
"Little Miss, what are you doing way out here?"
Theresa's dark brown eyes never moved, nor did her small mouth.
"Well child, I was off to the Apache reservation to talk to them 'bout the badness in your town."
Theresa looked down and fidgeted with here dress. Creasing the wispy fabric repeatedly with her tiny fingers. She walked up closer to Guy, at the same time gesturing him to come to her. Guy kneeled down and bent his head close to the child. She whispered in his ear with a tone secret in its softness but with definitive intent.
"Those Apache have powerful spooks. You gotta be careful the spooks don't lie to ya."
Guy leaned back steadying himself. He touched Theresa's shoulder lightly and smiled.
"I'll try and keep your advice in mind. I'll keep my eye's on 'em."
Theresa beamed, patting Guy on his shoulder.
"Good 'cause Daddy says them Injuns just have to be kept an eye on. Momma just wants to leave 'em alone, but Daddy says women never understand stuff like this."
Guys smile melted slowly away. He walked slowly over to Miriam and opened his saddlebag. He pulled out his bag of Lemon drops and shook them. Without turning to her he spoke.
"Now Theresa if you promise to get back home I'll give you as many of these lemon drops as you want when I get back… deal?"
Guy heaved himself back into his saddle and turned back to the little girl in time to see her skipping back towards Necessity. She yelled as she ran.
"Deal Mister Guy. But you be careful."
He gave her a moment to disappear around a ridge and then nudged Miriam on.
"White folks let their children do anything. Leave a little child like her out this way alone. Can't be nothing but trouble Miriam. Nothing but trouble."
Miriam trotted on silently as if unsure how to respond to Guy or the little girl.

There can be monotony in beauty, or perhaps monotony in the inability to respond to beauty. The red rock-faces glared down at Guy as he road Miriam through the passes in the small hills separating Necessity from the Apache reservation miles away from it. Sparse shrubs jutted boldly at odd angles from the coarse ground. And at times, beyond the song of birds flirting about, Guy and Miriam could hear the sound of the hearty animal denizens of this place scatter around in their daily tasks. But Guy was absorbed with thoughts.
"Miriam, I believe I been so worried about this mess I didn’t get enough sleep."
Miriam shook her head and laughed a high whinny.
"Yes we have been in more confusing situations… but this… this just taste nasty."
The bright sun continued its ascent to apex. Long shadows spread adding to the drama of the landscape. Still Guy's face would not soften.
"I must find out the connection of those old men. I have to find out why. And I gotta make sure this killing ends."
Miriam snorted decisively.
"Yes Miriam we definitely don't need scared white folks with weapons left to their own devices.
Quiet consumed Guy. He rested in the saddle, trusting Miriam to continue on with minimal direction. His mind drifted back to the day before in the jail cell with the old Apache murderers. Their driving chants in his head as if he was back in the cell again. Each syllable more hypnotic than the one before. Slowly the feeling of Miriam beneath him drifted away. The song of the men drowned the sounds of the hills out and Guy felt himself and the world change completely.

The settlement of Necessity 184?. This is not me.
And that realization frees me from the constraints of emotion.
I am small
My voice is soft and sweet. I pad on tint quiet feet.
Where's Daddy?
It is late as I scramble through the hushed house.
Darkness, long a fear, is defied to
lead me to the whisperings of adults.
If I am caught I am in trouble. I giggle
a child's laugh, covering my small mouth
with miniature hands.
A child's rebellion.
Where's Daddy?
Momma sits in the kitchen. All the big grownup ladies
are with her. They are hushed like this big dark house.
Through the slightly opened door
I see Momma in tears as
The women comfort her.
Daddy should do that.
Momma always smiles with Daddy.
Something is wrong.
The magical mischievousness of the moment
is lost.
Where's Daddy?
Memorized measured steps carry
My tiny form to the hallway near the Big Room.
I am not allowed there alone. That's Daddy's place
Where Daddy talks to other Big Men.
Where men listen to Daddy.
Light creeps out the large door and huddles close.
Confined by the shadows of the vacant hall.
I draw near that safe light.
And there is Daddy.
Pressed against the lip of
The doorway, caressed in the obsessed light
Where I stand, I hear his voice. Deep strong and sure.
Daddy's voice warms the cold fear of night.
We can't wait for them.
This is our land by law.
This is our Necessity.
I have heard too many tales.
Tales of wild raiding
parties destroying
new homesteads.
Not here!
Not where we call home!
We act tonight.
We send a message
We live without fear.
This is our Necessity.
The giddy joy of a mystery brightens my night. I rush to
the back door, fumbling as I put on my small shoes. Cold night air
ruffles my nightdress and flings my hair across my face. Tendrils
echoing the starless night sky. I climb up and into Daddy's favorite wagon.
It stinks of leather metal and sulfur. A final giggle subsides as I hide
myself under a large blanket, huddling close to sloshing cans of kerosene.
I am going with Daddy.